Dads, This Father's Day Start Talking!


Dads, This Father's Day Start Talking!

by Harriet Davis
June 15, 2018
A daughter hugs her father from behind.

My dad is a master of interrogation techniques. Almost every conversation we have is the Spanish Inquisition or the 3rd degree. He is relentless, wanting details on every aspect of my life and my friends’ lives. A typical line of questioning might look like this: Did you eat lunch today? What did you have for lunch? How did you get to work? Where do you get lunch when you’re at work? Who did you eat lunch with? What do her parents do? 

That last one is his all-time favorite question. And "I don't know" is not an acceptable answer. 

The questioning might be incessant, but it’s also harmless. After years of this, I’ve realized my dad is just curious. Even when I still lived under his roof, I don't recall feeling judged or being punished based on the information he’s learned from me. Knowing that I can count on him to reserve judgement has opened the door to valuable conversations and advice.I’ve dished about my last breakup, and subsequent makeup, and countless other relationship troubles. We've talked about gender identity, long-distance relationships, and #MeToo. Not too long ago, he got me to explain to him how to set up a date on Tinder. 

I try not to think about why he wanted to know. 

Among my female friends, the thought of talking to their dads about sex or relationships, even in the abstract, would probably seem weird and maybe even gross. That’s a fair call. I didn't always see the benefit of being interrogated with every phone call. As a teen, like many teens,I wanted to be left alone, and I found the interrogations annoying. At that age, I didn’t want to discuss anything with my dad, let alone sex, love, or relationships. 

Lately though, I've come to realize that my dad doesn't pepper me with questions to annoy me or judge me. He really is just curious—and perhaps a little lacking in the swag department. Knowing that my dad is so interested in the smallest details of my life helps remind me that he’s always there.  

Since it's Father's Day, I want to plug the interrogation approach to all the dads out there. Talking is power—and don’t worry, you don’t have to talk about Tinder (in fact, I would not recommend this.) If you need a place to start, you can always fall back on “what do her parents do?”